Friday, 10 July 2015
Monday, 29 June 2015
Tuesday, 23 June 2015
Keep your head held high ladies. <3
Umm..today I want to share a piece of my past that I have buried for long inside me.Actually,I was in love 3 years back.There was this guy who lived next to my house and we had been in a serious relationship for one and a half year until I discovered he had been cheating on me.I trusted him blindly.I was loyal like a dog.I loved him like a mother loved her child.He was my world.And just to clarify,it was no puppy love because,well because no it wasnt.I was a different person then.I am a different person now.My break up with him left me hollow.Nothing.No feelings.No pain.Nothing.Just a void.A void full of agony.Yet I learnt to keep strong.I used to cry till the time I was with him but the night I ended it,I cried like I had ever and promised myself never to again.And its strange to say but I dont cry anymore.I dont feel anymore.The other relationship I got into after him thinking I would get over him has only made me realise that I value that relationship I shared more than anything even today.And one apology from him and I might go back.Or maybe not.I do hate him.But then I love myself,the self I was when he was there.But of course,I will not go back.He cheated.He might do it again.No.I will not.I just want to snatch myself back.I wonder how?
Friday, 19 June 2015
I know I have been gone too long but now I am back from the city of dreams that is Mumbai.What an exhausting trip it was.First of all,to remind you the purpose of my trip,I had to get admission in Narsee Monjee.And yes.I screwed up my Delhi University's BMS exam last Sunday.So,all hopes go down the dump.Anyways,so Mumbai has been discovered like never before this time by me.The last time I had gone there,all I had seen was vast,blue,beautiful ocean and skyline outlined by the skyscrapers.But this time,having travelled through the interiors of the city,my entire perception of Mumbai has changed.So much so that I am not even sure now if I want to go there and study.The roads are narrow,densely populated and traffic jams are a common scenario.The attenuated buildings reaching as high as the sky,covering either sides of the road,leave not a space for the sky to be seen from anywhere down on the earth.Also,due to lack of space and the salty,moisture filled air,the condition of houses is particularly unimpressive.
Delhi is in sharp contrast to Mumbai.Wide roads.Greenery everywhere.So much open space.Posh buildings.Its the type of world,my world in particular,where I have been living and grown up since the past 15 years.And I am only 18 now.So that very well explains my claustrophobic reaction to Mumbai.
I am really confused.What to do?Delhi or Mumbai?
Tuesday, 9 June 2015
People say it will pass.I wonder when?
Today's day seems soo tiresome for me.I feel exhausted now.I dont want to go back to those tiresome and endless higher maths or logical reasoning questions anymore.I feel like giving up and quietly admitting my abode in Mumbai.I want to fight but I am exhausted.I am tired.I dont want to get up.I want to sit.Sleep.Relax.It's a matter of 4-5 days more only but still I am not able to bring myself to work.Urghhhh!!This is soo frustrating!Since the past two months,this is the only thing that has been happening!I wonder when for once and all would it be ending!A month more or there is much more to come? 😩
Sunday, 7 June 2015
Ting Ting Ting :D
I am sooo happy.I got an email today that was a confirmation from Mumbai's,the city of dreams,and also India's one of the best institutes for management that I have cleared their entrance exam and I am eligible now to get enrolled into their institution.My dad was so happy.My mom could not control smiling.And my joy knew no bounds as I was least expecting to get selected because it was an extra ordinarily difficult exam.Yet,to know I cleared it made me feel like laugh and cry,altogether.
Dad booked mine and his flight tickets for Mumbai to confirm my admission and I would be flying on 11 June there.
In all this hustled excitement,another thing that has struck me hard is that I would have to stay alone and away from my parents who would be here in Delhi.I have never been alone and always been the most pampered child in my entire lineage.I wake up in the morning,be it 9 AM or 12 PM,my lovely mom is always there to serve me my honey and lemon and my breakfast,first thing after I wake up.I have to care about nothing as mom manages everything.And for everything else,papa is there.They are superparents.And the thought of going away is a mixed one.On one hand,I would get to learn to become independent,self reliant and stuff but on the other hand I would not be able to come home,tired at the end of the day and have my bed already made up or my mom ready with the food I love.It's all a bit depressing and I am torn between choosing what to do.
I have my Delhi University's entrance exam as well on 14 and that pretty much would decide where I stay.I clear it and I stayback here,but if I don't,I will have to go to Narsee Monjee.Currently,I am very unsure about what I exactly want but I feel it's ok.I have the steering of my life in my hand and it's upto me right now to drive it to wherever I want.
So crossing my fingers and hoping that whatever happens would happen for the good,I am getting on to work hard for my entrace.
Buhh byee.Wish me luck.